The Darkness Within Us
by Mia Desiree
Summary: Erendir thought she is everything Loki needs as the one who reminds him every day that his life has a meaning other than a second prince, younger brother of Thor, the one who loves him more than anything in nine realms. But would it be enough as Loki's thirst of acceptance is getting stronger and confounding his mind?
1. Fateful Meeting

**THE DARKNESS WITHIN US**

**by Mia Desiree**

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**Author Note:**

Welcome, welcome!

I decide to join the fun and add another Loki OC fanfiction. This story will start in their childhood and it will probably be awhile until we get into Thor storyline and so on. I'm not really well versed in Norse mythology, so I will depend on my own imagination on everything that was uncovered in the movies.

**Disclaimer: **anything you recognize from Thor movie is totally not mine.

Happy reading!

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**_Their Fateful Meeting_**

There was a rare flower in Asgard that only bloomed for a day and everyone in Nine Realms always came to enjoy and celebrate their short life when they bloomed. Children were allowed to play and stay up late just for that day while the adults would hold a feast and drank to the night in the garden. Some of them were satisfied only by treasuring the view, some would take flower petals─ healers would use them for herbs while women believed they would help to nourish their beauty─ some, mostly little girls, would make flower crown out of it. Loki still remembered the first time he joined the celebration clearly in his mind. After all, it was where he met her for the first time.

He slipped away from the company of Thor and his friends, completely bored on their antics for a mock fight even all they did was swinging wooden sword around─ they were to start their sword lesson in three days and already Thor carried that sword everywhere he went. Loki too couldn't wait for the lesson, the start of his warrior life, but he didn't want to spend whole day playing around with his sword─ and ventured his way on the garden to find a secluded spot so he could finish the book he picked yesterday. Loki didn't dare to return to his room─ not when he had spent the whole week begging his parents to let him join the festive even though he was just recovered from two day of illness, only to return inside after few hours. The flower was intriguing but he couldn't see why people held a grand festive for this─ there were other flowers far more beautiful than this. Their short life span was not worth weeks of preparing the feast, in his opinion.

And that was how he first saw her, crouching hidden behind the bushes on the far east corner of the garden. At first he cared not for her presence, only glanced barely at her before settling down on his own corner under a tree and focused on his book. It was the only decent place in the garden he could find solitude for his book while still able to enjoy the festive. As long as she was quiet on whatever she was doing, he was content on sharing it.

Until he heard her scream of frustration that he finally looked at her, out of annoyance. He was about to tell her off when he saw her grabbed the flowers and threw them away in anger. "If anyone witness what you have done, you will be punished." Loki spoke out, causing her gasped and turned to him. Her cheek immediately colored in faint blush, not realizing that she had a company. "That flower, after all, is the reason we celebrate today."

Her blush deepened before she noticed the book on his laps and rolled her eyes, "I can't see why you're complaining. Reading a book in the height of the festive? You don't like it as much as I do."

"I don't see me destroying flowers out of frustration."

He watched in amusement as she opened her mouth, ready to argue, but lost her words when she realized he was right. So she settled on scowling and turning her back towards him again, while he vaguely heard her muttering something. His eyes curiously trained on her, wanting to know what she was trying to do now. He was about to lose his interest when he heard explosion noise─ almost unnoticed from the loud voices around them─ and she shrieked and moved away from her spot quickly. Then he could see a small fire erupted in front of her space containing the flower. "So not only do you try to take away their short life, you also want to lite them on fire?"

"I─ it's─ I just─ that's not what I'm trying to do!" she fumbled. Her face was still inflamed with embarrassment. She actually hoped he was already gone so no one witnessed her mistakes again. Her expression changed into a horrid one when he put down his book and walked over to her. "W-what are you─"

Loki didn't answer until he sat next to her and faced her, "what are you trying to do?"

"You're not going to tell the adults?"

He shrugged his shoulder, uncaring, "why should I? There are plenty others there for them to enjoy. So?" Had he not noticing her lips moved, he wouldn't know she was mumbling something. "I can't hear you."

"─I was trying to make the flower live forever!" She saw him tilting his head, clearly confused at her answer. Knowing what he would try to ask, she continued talking before he had a chance, "grandmother cannot come to the festive today so I figure out why not bring the flower to her so she can enjoy it every day."

"How? By burning it?"

She was about to snap at him when she noticed the mischievous glint on his eyes. It was clear there that he was just teasing her. "I found the book of magic father keep in his library. If anything can save the flower, it should be magic." She let out a strangled sound of protest when he took the book away from her without asking. He turned it over to read the cover before moving to the page she was just looking at. It actually contained simple explanation and pictures that even children like them could understand. "What?" she asked, noticing the dubious look on his face as he read the book.

"Can you even do magic?"

"Magic can be learned."

"Did you?"

She huffed and annoyed at the questions he kept firing on every sentence she said. "Must you counter everything I said?"

"I merely ask you questions. You don't need to be defensive like this." Loki defended himself. This girl was too snappy for his taste and reminded him of a certain girl following Thor around. Now that he looked at her properly, both girls also looked similar. "The book might be easy to understand but if you never learn magic, who say you can just make the flower live forever? No one ever did that before, which is why we still have this celebration, and─ why are you crying?!" he asked, panicked and slightly nauseated at the sight of tears in front of him. "Did I say something wrong? What?" When his mother scolded Thor and him every time they pranked their friends, she always told them that they shouldn't make girls cried even though girls were weak as Thor repeatedly countered. Last time when they made a daughter of an ambassador cried because they put snakes under her bed, their mother made them clean the hallway for a whole week. Since that incident, both Thor and him sworn never to make a girl cry again─ or at least made sure their mother never heard of it. And now he made a girl he barely knew cried and he didn't know why. "Would you please stop─"

His plea cut short as her wails became louder to the point that he had to move away in cringe. This was why neither he nor Thor wanted to play with girls. They cried at the slightest wound and when they did, it was always loud. Loud enough that someone would notice them if he didn't do anything soon. Loki glanced at the crying girl miserably, completely clueless on what he should do. What did father do when mother was upset last time? He vaguely remembered his father said something and then hugged her until she calmed down, then his own expression turned distaste. Must he do that as well? For a girl he just met? He didn't even do anything wrong!

She was furious at him, whoever he was. She was the first one using this corner. Then he just sauntered in and teased her for harming the flowers. Who was he questioning every move she made? What was wrong with experimenting on the flowers? Like he said, there were still plenty others in the garden that no one noticed what she did. And the way he spoke of her doing magic─ there were sorceress who were able to do such things in their youth and she could be one of them, whether she had learned magic before or not. She was so furious and embarrassed that her tears came out suddenly. She had to turn her head slightly from him because the edge of her lips twitched up in a smirk when he flustered up seeing her cried. Served him right! But when he did not do or say anything, she glanced at his direction slightly only to find that boy decided to walk away. "You're very rude, do you know that?"

Loki stopped and glanced at the girl, "I didn't do anything wrong. You just cries and don't want to stop. I'm not to take blame on this."

"If a true man sees a crying woman, he will comfort her. Mother said that all the time."

"Yet I still make you stop crying," he retorted back. "I come here to find a peace for my reading, not to be disturbed by your antics."

"I found this place first! _You're_ the one who disturb me with your questions."

Well, she was right. She was on this corner place first when he came, practicing with her magic, although he wouldn't say she _found_ it. This was the palace's garden, so technically it was his. If it was Thor instead, he would tell her off by telling her that he was a prince and he had right to do whatever he wanted in his palace. Loki did that also, basking in amusement and pride when they realized what they did and apologized profusely at him. But, as much as she annoyed him, Loki didn't want to do it to her. This was the first time someone argued with him instead of being afraid─ like the servants─ or mocking him─ like Thor and his friends. "Don't be snappy, I just want to know if you know what you're doing. You could have burned the whole palace instead."

"Not if you don't keep commenting on what I do!"

"I did not!" he said defensively.

She pursed her lips, seemed to think of something. "Well then, maybe you can help me find the right spell," she added brightly, "it's more interesting than reading a book, I promise!"

Loki stared at her calculatingly before shrugging his shoulder and returned to his previous spot beside her, "I suppose watching you burning the flowers seem like a good entertainment." He would not be able to even finish a page if she kept causing noise like earlier. Might as well join her trying to do an impossible thing.

"It was just _one _time," she huffed before turning back to her book, "maybe we can do this. What do you think?" She glanced to see frown adorned his face and went on defensive mode again, "what?"

"Nothing! Why does my expression offend you so much?"

"It is when you frown every time I say something! You don't need to look almighty just because you already learn magic."

It was wrong to lie but he could not deny a rare burst of happiness inside him. For the first time there was someone openly sulking and jealous that he had a talent she wanted, instead of mocking him. Even if that talent didn't actually exist. Oh Loki knew he could master magic easily for his mother was the best magic caster in Nine Realms but he never thought of learning that yet. Actually neither he nor Thor ever considered of learning magic, even though they grew up with their mother showing them little tricks before their bedtime. It's just that there were other more urgent lessons his father arranged for him and Thor to prepare them as the future King.

"Well? Don't be silent and ignoring me!"

"Let me─"

"Brother, there you are! I've been looking for you!" Loki's hand froze in midway of reaching out the book, sighing as his brother burst out from the bushes. Here he thought he would have more time alone before Thor realized he was gone. "I was completely crushed with only Sif by my side and it is unaccept─ oh." Thor stopped when he realized his brother had a company. He frowned, not recognizing the girl with his brother. Then again, for him, all girls in Asgard looked the same, except maybe for Sif. Now that he thought about her friend, he noticed there was something similar between those two girls. "Really, brother? Books again?" Thor rolled his eyes after noticing a book between them and another book discarded by his brother' side.

"Hello, brother," Loki said, bemused. While they shared the same enthusiasm on learning, Thor preferred to listen rather than read. That was why every time Thor found him lurking in corner and read, he would immediately try to drag him away to play. Sometimes if he was lucky, he could make Thor sat and accompany him instead.

"Well come on then. I need you for my revenge against Fandral, Volstagg, and Hodun!" Thor tugged at his brother's hand, forcing him to stand up, "come, brother!" He dragged Loki eagerly, not caring to ask if Loki's new friend would like to join them or if Loki wanted to spend time with them. After all, nothing was more important right now in his mind than to get his revenge on his close friends.

What kind of a brother Loki was if he didn't come to aid Thor when he was needed?

"Erendir! There you are, child!"

Loki turned around to find a woman approached the girl, her face mixed with disappointment, worried and relieved, probably the mother he thought. To his surprise, instead of looking guilty as most children did when their parents caught them doing something wrong, she displayed the same attitude like she did to him. Eyes rolling, scowling, and slightly retort back to her supposed mother. He watched the scene curiously before the bushes covered his sight completely.

So that was her name...

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Frigga watched her youngest from the doorway, her face etched with worry. It was hard to miss the frown that had begun to find a permanent place on his face, especially when he was watching his brother from the shadow. Most importantly she noticed how his genuine smile gradually disappeared. Ever since All Father begun their training as a future king, she witnessed how the others begun to favor Thor more than him, with Thor as the first born and more likely to inherit the title. It didn't help as well that Thor outshone Loki as a better fighter and general, something that everyone believed to be essential skill as a future King of Asgard. And when All Father also began to pay more attention towards Thor, Frigga knew she had to do something before their youngest retreated into reclusion and refused to believe in himself. She had showered both boys with equal love and praise, but now she felt it was not enough for Loki to have her praise only. He needed something that separated him from his brother, to identify him.

"You should join them rather than watch from afar."

Loki glanced and smiled when he saw it was his mother who approached him. "Hello, mother," he greeted her with a hug.

"It seems fun."

He only shrugged. It didn't escape his notice that his mother seemed to drop by his quarter and always urged him to join Thor and his friends. Perhaps his mother still didn't used to the fact that it was hard to get along with Thor lately. They might be inseparable when younger but ever since the sword fight begun, he started to see how completely different he was to Thor. Not to mention he had a hard time adjusting to Thor's close friends, even if they grew up and played together.

"If you won't join them, maybe you would like to accompany me then."

"Do you need to go somewhere, mother?"

Frigga smiled and patted his cheek, "it's been a long time since I practiced my magic. Maybe you would like to watch it and also… learn it, if you'd liked."

Magic… That was one thing neither of them learnt. He knew Thor would never want to learn magic or even use it. For Thor, his strength was more than enough to make him win every match. He always mocked him when he used trick to defeat him, saying how it wasn't a valid win. What would Thor say when he found out about him learning magic? Would he mock him more? Loki glanced at his mother, unsure on how to reject her offer without hurting her feeling.

"Well? What do you think?"

But then he remembered her. That girl who tried to prolong the life of Tala flower, Erendir. How many seasons had passed since that day? He almost forgot about her and how her eyes shone in excitement when she thought he already learnt magic. The first time he had someone so interested in him. How could he even forget her? Though truthfully he was relieved that Thor found him at that time, so he was saved from embarrassment when she found out that he couldn't do magic. There are few years left until the next celebration. So when he met her next time, he would really know how to use magic. He had to be better than her if he still wanted to have her impressed and there was no better teacher than his mother in magic. "Yes. Of course I'd loved to learn magic, mother," Loki then answered with a big smile that surprised Frigga. She honestly didn't expect this level of excitement from him. Maybe she should have suggested it to him sooner if he was this eager.

"Let's go then."

Maybe when he met her again in the next celebration, he could surprise her with a spell that could extend the live of that flower.

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_Hope you like it and please let me know what you think. Thanks!_


	2. Is That You?

_**Is That You?**_

"Is this a tala?"

Loki looked up from his book and frowned to see a familiar flower on Thor's hand─ one that neither of them had seen in years already─ then to the opened engraved box near him. His brother had entered his room earlier, looking so bored, as they both were not allowed to leave the palace or go to the training ground after being heavily injured on their last mission gone wrong. Mother's order. At first Thor was fine with sitting on silence, reading a book. It took him almost an hour before he decided to poke around the room, hoping to find something interesting. Loki rolled his eyes at his brother's antics. Did Thor really think he could find something worth to tease in this room? He knew how to hide sensitive things… or so he thought. How did Thor even find that box? It wasn't even there when he was tidying up his desk yesterday evening.

"It _is_ tala and it still looks fresh," Thor commented, turning the flower over and over again. It looked like it was just plucked out this morning but that was impossible because they weren't supposed to bloom until five more years or so. "Is this another illusion of yours, Loki?" He waved the flower and poked at it but nothing changed.

"It's not an illusion." Loki stood up and walked over to his brother. The Tala was still as fresh as when he took them that day. The spell was still working, even after all these years. He should be proud of this─ finally he could manage what others were still trying to do for centuries─ yet there was only disappointment roused when he saw his creation. All those time practicing to make the right spell had gone waste because she was nowhere to be found. Gently Loki took the flower away from his brother and returned it to the box.

Thor frowned, "then how can you have a fresh Tala?"

"Just something I tried few years back," Loki answered with a shrug, "It's nothing important."

It didn't look like one, Thor thought. Loki never brought his experiment to his bedroom and always stashed it in his study chamber instead. If it were just unimportant experiment as he said, he wouldn't hide it on his room, moreover put it in a beautiful box. Had he not noticed the secret compartment on Loki's desk last time he was here, Thor wouldn't be able to find it. Clearly this flower was something important to his brother. So why did he lie? Thor glanced to Loki still staring at the flower in the box and looked like he was in a deep thought. He wondered since when Loki started to make a habit to hide things from him. He never told him anything about this. Thor was almost taken back when he noticed a hint of smile on Loki's face. Now he really wanted to know the meaning of that flower. Loki never shared that smile to anyone aside from him and their mother.

Might there be a woman involved?

Loki had almost forgotten about this flower, about the years he had spent to create this spell… and about her.

How many years had passed since their brief meeting in that garden? A hint of smile appeared on his face when he remembered how flustered and panic she was that time when her spells were gone wrong. He never saw her ever since, not even when he scoured every corner and hidden place in the palace he could think of. It was as if they weren't allowed to meet each other again. He knew she was in the celebration somewhere. There had been signs of her in some places he visited to look for her. He saw a scorched that was hastily covered by leaves and in another there was two frozen and broken talas hidden in the bushes. In another corner he found wilted talas and in another a trampled one. It was her doing yet he could not find her properly. He remembered the anger and disappointment by the end of the celebration as he threw away a perfectly healthy and living tala even when others had wilted away.

He couldn't believe how easily he could forget about that girl. She was the one first aside from his mother who thought so highly of him, sincerely asked his help, and she didn't even know who he was─ he even started to learn magic because of her! And then his memory of hers just conveniently disappeared to the back of his mind... until today. Loki touched the flower gingerly, wondering what happened to that girl now. Would she still be doing this even now? Would she still practice magic. And most important of all, would he even exist in her mind?

"Did you tell anyone about this?" Thor asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. No one was ever able to find a way to make Tala had a long lasting life and they were still searching it until now. He might not understand magic and trick but he knew what his brother had done was amazing─ a miracle of sort.

Loki glanced at his brother, "it's just a flower," and waved his hand over the box to lock it. Another wave and the box disappeared from the table.

Thor opened his mouth, ready to ask another question, when a knock interrupted him. He raised his eyebrow towards Loki who only shrugged his shoulder in return. He wasn't due for a visitor today. If it was their mother, she would have just entered the room. There was nothing he would hide from his mother in here. "Enter!" Thor spoke out.

It was a palace guard who entered the room. "My princes, your presence is requested in the Throne Room."

Thor exchanged glance with Loki confusedly. Neither of them knew why their parents suddenly wanted their presence in the Throne Room, less than two days after their mother insisted them to rest in their bed. Did they unknowingly cause a problem… again? But why to the Throne Room? Usually when All Father wanted to scold them, he preferred to do it in private, unless it was chaotic. Loki was positive neither of them caused anything ever since they were released from Healer Ward. "What for?" he asked with a slight frown.

"I have no detail, my princes, but it seems we have a guest staying with us for awhile."

"Very well. We'll be coming shortly." Loki answered while waving his hand to dismiss the guard.

"That's a first," Thor commented after the palace guard left Loki's room, "we're always informed days in advance if we have a visitor. Who do you think it is?"

"I haven't the faintest. Maybe they're surprising us, assuming they are Asgardians and don't require Bifrost. I do hope it's not another noble daughter hoping to impress father and mother so she could be betrothed to one of us."

Thor laughed. "Only you, brother, who find any advance from a noble daughter is disturbing. Live up a little, would you? There is no harm done for a little fun." He smacked his shoulder, earning a low hiss from Loki. "Come now, we best not make them wait too long."

To his much disappointment, when they arrived in the Throne Room, they found their parents talking to a young maiden they never saw before. It was obvious from how she was dressed that she might be a daughter of nobleman. They couldn't see her face from where they entered but judging from their mother's expression, it seemed the young maiden had already wormed her way to Frigga's heart. Their father was, as usual, impasse of any emotion but the way he responded to her words showed that he was familiar with her. Either she was a daughter from his advisors' circle or a daughter from another realm─ Vanaheim most probably.

Thor nudged at Loki's side, grinning at him, causing Loki to roll his eyes in response. This was not the way he planned his rest would be. He could see it in his mind right now. Their mother would ask them to accompany the guest─ to give her a tour in the palace as usual, and he would be forced watching her trying to impress Thor and ignore him. No maiden would want to settle with the backup while the crown prince was still available.

"Thor, Loki," Frigga was the first one who noticed them, "there you are. I hope we didn't interrupt your rest."

When the young maiden then turned around to acknowledge them, he was confused. Wasn't it Lady Sif who stood in front of them? The Warrior Three and Lady Sif might plan a prank on them occasionally, but none of them was brave enough to do it in front of All Father. It was only when they were getting closer to the Throne did he realize that it wasn't Lady Sif. This maiden in front of them might have similar feature as Lady Sif from afar, but she was paler, her hair was wavier, and her eyes were green instead of hazel. Moreover he knew Lady Sif wouldn't be caught dead wearing a dress like that if it weren't for a feast.

Loki tilted his head slightly with a frown─ there was something in her face that seemed familiar to him, other than her similarities to Lady Sif. It was starting to frustrate him─ he was not one to forget things easily. But he quickly masked his emotion when they were in front of their parents and the guest.

"Never for you, mother," Loki answered with a grin.

"I know it's quite a sudden, we didn't expect her to come until next month─"

"─and I really do apologize for that, my Queen," the young maiden added.

Their mother only smiled and squeezed her hand comfortingly, causing Loki's frown to deepen. Already she was being very motherly to her? Their mother was a nice and kind woman, but he never see her so attached to a young maiden easily. Up until now only Lady Sif was close enough to be considered as adopted daughter to her. Was this young maiden one of her family from Vanaheim perhaps? "It's alright, my dear. The sooner the better you can settle down and learn new things," Frigga said before turning back to her sons, "this is Lady Erendir, sister of Lady Sif. She will stay here as my lady in waiting."

Wait... what?

On that moment Loki swore his body gone stiff and he could hear his own heart beating hard against his chest. It wasn't possible. He couldn't believe it. Did his mother really say Erendir? Loki stared at the maiden closely. He did feel something familiar with her, but could it be for that? Just earlier Thor found the tala he had put aside after he decided not to search for her anymore and caused him to remember her again─ made him wondered where she was and if she still remembered him. Now this maiden─ the one who would become his mother's lady in waiting─ who looked like Lady Sif and seemed familiar to him was introduced as Erendir. Was she really that Erendir? How could this be happening now? There were so many questions whirling inside his mind that he didn't know which to think first or how he should react. He didn't even dare to find out what expression he had right now.

"Lady Erendir, this is our firstborn, Prince Thor, and our youngest, Prince Loki."

Loki waited, dreading for her reaction, as his mother introduced them. His shoulder then slightly sagged down in defeat when their guest only smiled and curtseyed and her expression unchanged when she glanced at him. She couldn't be that Erendir then. Or maybe Erendir was a common name out there. Or perhaps she didn't recognize him anymore, now that he grown up. They did only meet briefly that day. Loki frowned, trying to remember the young Erendir from his memory. What did she look like that day?

"I knew that cunning smile from somewhere!"

He could barely hide his surprise when his brother's loud voice boomed throughout the room as he grabbed Lady Erendir and pulled her into a hug. In the other hand, Lady Erendir didn't seem to look offended or even surprised the least. Instead she hugged Thor back as tight as she could, laughing as well. His frown deepened─ he didn't like how this was going, especially with the not-so-subtle look his father gave to his mother. He didn't know Thor knew Lady Erendir. They were almost together all the time and never did he see her around his brother. He did vaguely remember Lady Sif mentioned her sister once or twice in passing but never her name.

"Oh all of you have met each other before?"

"Well we met few times during the Tala celebration when Loki here," Thor threw a look at him, "sneaks away to somewhere else as usual. I haven't seen you since three celebrations ago, my Lady!"

Loki had to hold back from retorting back and his scowl from showing out─ his father never liked it when he was showing 'attitude' in front of their guest. He then glanced to the grinning Lady Erendir, still locked in his brother's hug. She did look similar to the Erendir he met, if he remembered it well. Of all the places she could be, she was playing with his brother while he avoided Thor just so he could search for her on the celebration. What were the odds for that? And now Lady Erendir seemed to be captivated by Thor. Just like everyone else did.

If she was indeed his Erendir, this reunion was not what he envisioned to be. He scowled at Lady Erendir and Thor who were still talking animatedly. Yes, he was _very_ not amused with this.

* * *

The Asgard Palace was still as magnificent as she remembered. Whenever she came to visit during the Tala celebration, she never ceased to amaze how big the palace was. She always wondered how many people resided in the palace and what they were doing in their daily life─ especially the royal family. Sif always told her about her life in palace now that she was trained to be a warrior, about her amazing adventures with the princes and Warrior Three. Now here she was, following her sister to live in palace. Even until now she still didn't know how her parents could convince All Father and Queen Frigga to let her come, let alone to become the Queen's lady in waiting─ a position that the Queen felt no need to be filled in until now as she was more than capable to run her duties by herself.

Erendir knew she should be grateful for the offer. It was what every maiden dreamed of, to have a chance to become closer to the two princes. All maiden knew that to get the prince to notice them was either by impressing them in a battle or being close to the Queen. For what she had heard, only her sister managed to accomplish both ways. Now she had that chance… and all she could think of was how mortally scared she was. It was one thing to come visit palace during celebrations and saw a glimpse of royal family, it was another thing to come and live with them. What if she made a mistake in front of All Father? What if she embarrassed herself in public? What if somehow she harmed the royal family? The closer she was to the Throne Room, the stronger her fear was. Now she wished she let her mother came with her instead. Or inform Sif so she could be here, instead of surprising her. Oh why did she think she could meet All Father and the Queen by herself?

When she finally reached two palace guards blocking her path further by their spears, she took a deep breath and hoped her voice didn't come out quivering. "My name is Lady Erendir. I am here under the invitation of All Father and Queen Frigga."

The guards glanced at each other before retracting their spears, allowing her to approach the Throne. She straightened her posture, her hand clenched into a fist so it would stop shaking, and resumed her walk to the Throne. If she squinted her eyes, she could see All Father already sat on his Throne and another figure─ most probably the Queen─ was standing nearby. She didn't see any other palace guards except for the one who blocked her path earlier. Nor did she see her sister nearby as well, which sunk her heart further. She had hoped Queen Frigga immediately inform Sif of her arrival on her stead, but then again she came earlier than they expected. Hopefully All Father would be more understanding when she explained it.

Erendir stopped when she was few steps away from the base of the Throne and curtseyed. "Greetings to All Father and Queen Frigga."

"Stand up, Lady Erendir." All Father spoke out, "there is no need for nervous or fear when you're going to live with us."

She drew another shakily deep breath before standing up from her curtsey. Before she could gather herself and gave them her excuse from coming earlier, the Queen was already in front of her and pulled her into an embrace. "Welcome, dear," Queen Frigga softly said as she pulled away and touched her cheek, "and I'm sorry for your loss."

Tears brimmed her eyes as she blinked, trying to keep herself together as the wound was still fresh in her memory, and whispered, "thank you, my Queen, and please forgive me for coming here a month earlier."

"Oh dear, you do not need to apologize. I feel more relieved if you're come here straightaway. There is no need to dwell in there longer. It will not do you any good." Queen Frigga smiled then turned to her husband, "perhaps we could send for Thor and Loki to come and ask them to give Lady Erendir a tour? I know Thor is growing more restless in his room by now."

All Father nodded and beckoned one of the palace guards who were standing in between pillars to come closer. "Inform the princes that their presence is expected here." When the palace guard had left them, he turned to the newest addition to his palace. "Are you adept in sword fighting, Lady Erendir?"

Erendir bit her lips, "I am afraid not, my King. Sif has all the talent with swords between us." Now she felt foolish agreeing with her mother to refuse her father's offer to teach her a little sword fighting. She knew her mother didn't want her to fall in love with sword and decide to follow Sif's path to become a female warrior. Sif's decision had caused quite a riff between her family and she didn't want to add more to that─ which was why she was here, complying her parent's wish.

He pursed his lips, clearly didn't like her answer, "being with the Queen means you have to be alert and prepare for any danger comes to her. If you can't protect yourself, then you won't be able to protect the Queen. And I can't have the Queen trying to protect both of you."

"You sound as if I am in impending danger every minute," Queen Frigga remarked. "Do not listen to him, Erendir. Life in the palace is not as dangerous as All Father made you imagined," she threw a look at her husband. Didn't he notice how nervous Erendir was? Warning her like that could only worsen it. "I'm sure later her sister or one of the Warrior Three will offer to teach her. If not, then maybe we can ask Thor to teach her while he's recovering."

"I am merely looking out for your protection and hers as well."

Erendir smiled weakly at them. She knew All Father only spoke of the truth, even though it only made her doubted more if she would fit for the task. She already doubted herself when the Queen first offered the job. At least Queen Frigga seemed trying to make her comfortable settling down her new life in here. "I will try my best to learn how to defense myself, my King."

"But you do not need to feel pressured to learn it quickly, Erendir. We have Heimdall to alert us of any possible danger and my sons never fail on protecting us in here. We are at time of peace and─" the Queen stopped when she noticed something behind Erendir, "Thor, Loki, there you are," she smiled as her sons approaching them, "I hope we don't interrupt your rest."

Erendir took another deep breath before turning around to acknowledge the princes. The rumor was quite true─ both princes had distinctive appearance, which relieved her immensely. If they were quite similar to each other, she would have had trouble remembering which was which. She immediately recognized Thor from the time they spent during Tala celebrations. Sif had pulled her in to play with them because apparently the second prince was nowhere to be found and they needed one more to break the team even. But should she show that she knew Thor or pretend that they never met? Thor, now grown up and his muscle bulked up than the last time she saw him, didn't seem to recognize her when their eyes met. Had she changed so much over the years? Or did she have such fleeting impression on him?

Shaking away her thought, Erendir curtseyed when the Queen introduced her, "my princes." she glanced up, smiling, only to notice a brief shock displayed on the second prince's face. Have they met before? He did look familiar to her somehow but she would have remembered if she met him before. It was hard to forget such face, especially his captivating green eyes. Seeing him right now, Erendir didn't understand why her sister distrusted him so much. The way he smiled to the Queen was so sincere that she doubted he was as sly as Sif told her. She was going to ask him when Thor shouted, "I knew that cunning smile from somewhere!" and locked her on his tight embrace. A relieved laugh escaped her as she returned his embrace, glad that Thor still remembered her. It would be quite awkward if they met with Sif and the Warrior Three later and she spoke of their time together but Thor didn't remember.

Yet she couldn't help but glancing towards Loki who still hadn't spoken another word since Queen Frigga introduced them. He seemed like he was fighting a scowl from coming out and looked away from her. It only made her more confused. She didn't remember meeting him before yet she felt she had done something wrong to him. Or perhaps he didn't like when his brother was getting close to a maiden. Sif mentioned, quite repeatedly, how Loki was always jealous of Thor and that he always tried to usurp his brother. If Loki was easily jealous like this, then she had to remember to mind her manner around them later. She didn't need to be put in crossfire between brothers. There was already too much drama on her life and it was enough for her lifetime.

"Oh all of you have met each other before?" the Queen asked, pleasantly surprised to see her eldest and Erendir seemed to get along.

"Well we met few times during the Tala celebration when Loki here," Thor threw a look at his brother, "sneaks away to somewhere else as usual. I have not seen you since three celebrations ago, my Lady!" He grinned at her, "where have you been?"

"Oh just here and there. I was a bit preoccupied lately."

"Preoccupied?" Thor scoffed, "what could be more important than Tala celebrations?"

Erendir could only smile back at his remark, barely able to mask a flinch that threatened to appear. It seemed Thor hadn't changed at all from the first time they met. He still spoke without thinking it first. It was nice to know some things hadn't changed from her memory.

"That is not a nice thing to say, Thor," the Queen chided, saving her from awkwardness for not able to answer, "not everyone's life revolves in celebration like you."

Thor only shrugged his shoulder, dismissed her chiding, "I was just asking," then he turned to his mother. "Do you need us for something, mother?"

"Yes, would you two mind if I ask you to show Lady Erendir around so she could familiarize herself with the palace?"

"Oh but my Queen, I cannot impose the princes," Erendir immediately protested, "I'm sure if someone direct me to the training ground, I can find my sister and she can give me a tour then."

Thor grabbed Erendir's hand, "We would be honored to give you a tour, Lady Erendir," he exclaimed, "if you are to help mother running the palace, you must know all of the hallway, secret passages, and chambers to survive!" He then turned to his mother, "worry not, mother. I assure you by the end of the day, Lady Erendir will know the palace as if she was born here."

"But─"

"It's better if you let them so, Erendir. Thor and Loki had been bed ridden for few days now and they're dying to do something other than resting."

"Well not really," finally the second prince spoke out, startling her, "I, personally, love spending time in my chamber, reading books, but I agree Thor will not survive it any second longer. Had you not summon us earlier, mother, he would have torn my room apart already." There was a glint of mischievousness on his eyes when he spoke.

"Brother!" Thor protested, "you should not to say such thing in front of Lady Erendir!"

Loki only smirked back in response. "I merely inform Lady Erendir what consequence might befall if she insist on refusing mother's offer," for the first them, their eyes finally met and Erendir hesitantly smiled back at him. Did he just reprimand her for trying to refuse the Queen's help? Or was he still teasing his brother?

She glanced sideway to see the expectant look from the Queen and then to All Father who seemed like he wanted this conversation to be ended soon, "well then," she turned back to the princes, "if Prince Loki put it that way," the way she emphasized on his name caused his smirk to widen, "then I have no other choice than to accept the offer," her voice died down when the princes didn't make any move to ask her followed them. Erendir glanced between the two princes hesitantly. Or should she the one who depart first?

Erendir couldn't express how relieved she was when Thor took a step closer to her and offered his hand. She looped her hand around his then turned to the Queen and All Father and curtseyed once more. "Thank you again for letting me settling in earlier."

"Of course, dear. I already have your belongings to be sent to your new chamber. Don't hesitate to ask for anything if you need it." Queen Frigga turned to her sons and stared at them pointedly, "I will see all of you in dinner time. Do not go off outside the palace."

Her lips lifted up in a quirk amusement as Thor and Loki both had matching grin. "Of course not, mother, we would not dare to venture without your permission."

"You better be," the Queen warned but with a smile plastered on her face. "Go on then."

* * *

Now Erendir started to understand why Sif didn't trust Loki so much. It was really unnerving to know that he was walking with them yet he barely spoke out or anything, letting Thor to do all the talking. But he was there by her other side and not slipping away as she thought he would do, watching her every move. Whenever she braved herself to glance at him, she always found his eyes fixated at her and it made her really uncomfortable. He would notice anything she did─ conscious or not─ but she wouldn't know what her action was perceived on his mind. Anyone would be suspicious of him if this was what he did most of the time. No one would have liked it if someone was watching over them like a hawk. It made her more conscious on what she did and less on what Thor explained to her. She didn't even notice where they were going when loud shouting startled her from her thought.

Erendir blinked her eyes as she found herself in the top of a staircase, leading to a clearing where Asgardian warriors were currently training. She glanced to see Thor was grinning broadly, watching the scene below them. Was Thor expecting her to start her sword training right away? She barely held herself around All Father and now he wanted her to jump into her training? She didn't even have the proper attire for that! But of course Thor could just order Sif to lend her clothes temporarily. Speaking of her sister─ Erendir turned her gaze back to the training ground. It wasn't that hard to find her sister amongst those people─ her long, wavy hair flew against the wind as she moved around to parry the attacks from her fellow warriors. Her sister moved so fluidly with her spear and shield that she really deserved to be amongst the best warriors. A disturbed thought entered her already troubled mind. They wouldn't expect her to be as amazing as Sif was with sword… would they?

"Erendir!"

They watched as Sif─ who had just noticed their presence─ made her way through the crowd to them, quite astonished to see her sister in between two princes. Loki raised his eyebrow in amazement as he finally could compare both maidens at once. No wonder he almost mistook Lady Erendir as Lady Sif earlier. The similarities between them were quite eerie. Had Lady Sif not insisted on continuing her sword training and became the first female warrior in Asgard, she would probably have almost the same feature as Lady Erendir, sans their eye colors. Those two siblings could pass up as twin instead. He remembered thinking how similar young Erendir he met to young Sif but he couldn't believe that they were actually related. Their personality was contrast to each other, like day and night. Where Lady Erendir was timid and easily nervous─ although being in the presence of All Father might contribute to that─ Lady Sif etched on his mind as the loud and tomboy maiden they grew up with.

"Erendir! What in Valhalla are you doing here?" Sif demanded once she was quite close to them. "Aren't you supposed to─" she stopped abruptly, seeing vigorous head shake from her sister, before realizing what implied behind her arrival. "Oh..."

Erendir shook her head, noticing how Sif was troubled on how to react to the news. "It's alright. We've been expecting it already, after all," she assured her, saving Sif from showing affection publicly and evading questioning look from both princes. "I hope I don't disturb you from your training."

"I was due for a break." Sif then raised her eyebrows at the sight of their two princes on either side of her sister, "Thor, Loki. I thought the Queen forbade you from entering the training ground."

Both princes had a matching smirk as Thor replied, "and since when do we ever follow her wish until the end?"

"One day you will regret saying those words, Thor," Sif said, briefly shaking her head in amusement, before her expression turned grim as she avert her attention back to her sister. For someone who just lost someone important, her sister seemed quite calm enough. It could be a good thing, she believed. Sif would rather not have her sister in a hysterical mood, not with Thor around. She wouldn't want him to see how incapable she was as a sister. "Are we going today then?" Sif asked carefully to not destroy Erendir's current mood.

She was met with three confused looks.

"What?"

"Are we set to go to Vanaheim today?" Sif repeated her question, "you're here to pick me up so we could get the ceremony started, aren't you?"

"I─ we already finished the ceremony days ago, Sif, when you're out on mission with the princes," Erendir answered, still confused, "didn't mother inform you?"

Not wanting to be kept in dark, Thor butted in, "what ceremony?" causing Loki to inwardly sighed. His brother was really dense on reading situation. It was clear as day that neither Lady Sif nor Lady Erendir wanted the princes to know what they were talking about.

"What else are you doing in here then?" Sif asked, ignoring Thor's question completely. It didn't make sense for her. If the ceremony just ended days ago then Erendir should still be in Vanaheim for another month. She most certainly had no business to show up in palace, let along having the princes escorting her around.

Erendir inwardly groaned when she realized what was transpiring right now. She just couldn't believe it. Surely an important matter like this was more than enough to break through animosity between their mother and Sif. How could their mother expect her to prepare everything when she was the one who rushed Erendir to come to the palace earlier than agreed time? Erendir sighed─ she should have just followed her instinct and send a letter to Sif in advance.

But before she could answer, Loki intervened and replied to Sif with his silk voice, "Lady Erendir is here under mother's offer to be her Lady in Waiting."

Only to have Sif scoffed in return. "This was no time or place for your mischief, Loki," she growled.

"Sif!" Erendir admonished her sister, shocked at how open her hostility was towards the second prince. "It is true," she added with gentler voice, so not to lit fire into her sister's short temper, "the Queen _did_ offer me that position and I accept it."

"You're WHAT?!"

Both Thor and Loki were quite taken back hearing their close friend suddenly outburst like that. That was not the respond they would thought to hear when Sif saw her sister with them. Thor thought when she realized the prospect of having her sister close to her again, Sif would be delighted to hear the news. Wasn't she the one who sometimes envied that Thor always had his brother next to him? That she secretly wished her family wasn't so hard on her decision? Loki glanced at Lady Erendir to see her reaction. If she was indeed the same girl he met years ago, she would not back down easily. No, she would stand up like she did when her mother scolded her for sneaking around. To his disappointment, Lady Erendir only sighed in defeat─ no fiery on her eyes.

"Sister, please," Erendir could feel her cheek heated at how everyone's attention was on her and Sif. "I know it's quite a shock for you," she nervously glanced to the princes, "mother thought─"

"Oh of course it's mother!" Sif scoffed, ignoring the fact that her loud voice attracted the others, "of course she send you in to spy on me! Well you can go home and tell mother that I have no intention of abandoning my duty as a warrior! Have you nothing to do other than following mother's wishes? Surely you grow bored of it at some point!"

Erendir flinched at her sister's remark. "It's nothing like that. Mother thought it would be best if I leave Vanaheim and I don't really fond spending it at home. There is no grand scheme behind this. It's purely for me, Sif." She added when Sif looked like she was ready to launch another argument. "Believe it. I'm doing this for myself."

The scowl on Sif's face showed that she still doubted on what her sister insisted but she chose not to speak it out loud. She was becoming aware on how their argument distracted her fellow soldiers, judging on how the noises behind her diminished greatly after her sudden outburst earlier. It wouldn't do her well if she openly opposed her sister's presence in the palace like this, seeing it was the Queen who invited her in, not the other way around. They might think she didn't agree with her judgment. "If you say so," she finally said, begrudgingly, in the end. There were plenty of times later to talk with her sister within private walls to get the bottom of it. Sif stiffly bowed towards Thor and Loki before stalking away from them, sparing no glance or word to her sister again.

Erendir could feel the questioning glance from both princes. "Shall we continue then? I heard the library in here was the most fascinating of all. Would you mind taking me there?" She asked to Thor, forcing a smile so he wouldn't ask her about what had just transpired.

"Well, I know where it is, but Loki here is more familiar with the library. He remembers the layout and hidden passage to get there."

"Is that so, Prince Loki?" She turned her head slightly to him, only to find herself again under his prodding gaze, and gulped. He really had a way to make her nervous and they barely even exchanged more than two or three sentences. She wouldn't be able to lower her guard around him, would she?

Loki slightly smirked when he offered his hand towards her, "well I wouldn't say I know everything about library," he murmured, "the librarian was here longer than me."

Thor laughed, "don't believe him! He was able to sneak in even when the library was closed and even now we never knew how he could get in!"

As Loki led them towards the library, Erendir let out a sighed relief. At least the princes didn't hold her conversation with Sif in their mind anymore. She didn't want to explain everything on her first day here. Some things better left unsaid. Erendir glanced back to the training ground, to where her stubborn sister was─ hopefully Sif would change her mind eventually. She didn't want her presence here caused Sif to be uncomfortable.

* * *

Loki paced around his room restlessly after escorting Lady Erendir to her chamber, recounting how his day with Lady Erendir had been. His head started to hurt from comparing Lady Erendir to the young Erendir in his memory all day. Loki was almost certain that Lady Erendir was the young girl he met that day. He just needed the final proof. It didn't help that Thor dominated their conversation completely and left him no opportunity to find out more about her. Not that he wanted Thor to know about their past if she really was that Erendir. His brother would tease him endlessly if he knew Loki started learning magic because of a girl and a flower. Not to mention the embarrassment he would experience if she wasn't the girl he met.

But how to make himself convinced?

This was unlike him. He never hesitated about anything, always knew what to do or say, which he proved as he repeatedly saving Thor's life more than once. It was definitely not like him to be agitated over a maiden before─ for someone he just briefly met ages ago to add it up. He wouldn't reap any advantage if Lady Erendir was really the girl he met in the garden. Nothing would change because of that. So why couldn't his mind rest peacefully? He tried to distract himself with something else, but his mind kept returning to her. A smirk escaped to his lips when he recounted her reaction around him. He intentionally showed to her that he was watching her and she kept glancing back at him nervously. When he had a chance to speak out, she almost jumped in fright. It was quite entertaining so he could drone out whatever Thor said to Lady Erendir.

His eyes widened as he finally found the way to settle his mind. "The flower!"

Loki then stormed towards his desk and finally decided to open the box. He gingerly took out the flower, as if it could crumble easily. When he decided stop pursuing her, he kept aside this flower in the end of the day. He didn't know why he did it but now he was quite thankful for his younger self. If he really wanted to know if it was really her and put rest on his mind─ a hint of smile appeared as he caressed the petal softly─ well there was only one way to find it out. He paused when he was about to hide the box away as a thought he dreaded the whole day wrestled its way to his mind.

What if he was wrong? What if she didn't want the flower?

But then he realized how idiotic he sounded. He was a master of magic and trick─ one that he always utilized whenever Thor and he wanted to pull a prank. There was a way to do so without announcing his presence. Loki finally walked away from his room─ tala tucked carefully in his belt─ with his face full with determination. He had a mission to fulfill and a question of lifetime to answer. It was a good thing that he already knew the location of her chamber.

* * *

**AN: Ah, they finally meet again :) Thank you for those who reviewed and followed my story. I'm glad you like it! Don't forget to review this one ;)**


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